When I set out to create this blog, it was a way for me to document my growth as a runner, spur my growth as a writer and creator, reflect on the events of my life (the reasons why I run) and in some way, give back to the community for all the race reports and insights I have enjoyed over the years.
My first post, was about running away from your problems. Unfortunately, I did not do that this year. Not well enough anyway.
Literally and figuratively.
I set out in 2017 to smash my PRs, train smarter, not harder, and continue to leverage my running as a means of self improvement and therapy.
What ended up happening was the start of a good year that slowly tapered off to inconsistency in my training and self care, that combined with mounting work and family stressors causing me to continue to reduce the amount of ‘usable time’ in my life to the bare essentials. Even when I had brief moments of time to work on this or that, my self doubts and fears would crush my spirit, and I would succumb to the wave of anxiety and accomplish nothing.
My mental health declined, my sleep suffered, my physical health waned and I ended the running season with a poor showing at the Cuyamaca 100K and failing to complete the pinnacle race for the year – the Tahoe 200 – falling just 13 miles shy of the 205 mile finish line.
This year was a hell of a storm, but the winds have changed and the seas are beginning to calm.
Slowly, I am getting back to the things I need to – the things that make me a better, more complete person.
I know I promised to update this blog on the events of the year, but now I am really going to do it. A continuous upload at the dawn of 2018.
Plenty of reading material to keep you entertained as you crack open a beer after a long run or while you avoid awkward family moments at your cousin’s wedding, hiding out in the guest bedroom.
I cannot guarantee that they will be super insightful, or detailed at this point as many of them are months out of my immediate memory, but I hope they still offer some substantive reading – thoughts on a race, musings, anecdotes, or even just a quick read for fun. It’s Pareto’s principle from here on out – self doubt and self deprecation be damned.
So I offer this entry as an apology, an explanation, and the first of many new steps.
As the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, here we go.
See you on the trails ahead.
-The Winged Ling
An apology to all the friends I’ve been super sketchy around, it wasn’t you – it was me. I had a lot of social anxiety this year.
Thanks to those friends and family who could tell and tried, I do appreciate it.
To my dear wife – thank you for helping me weather the storm, I love you.